April 2011:
The Morning Star trebles its readership by launching a 'I couldn't care less about the royal wedding' campaign. After massive public discontent, the Government decide not to fund the security and travel arrangements of the wedding. Instead Elton John offers to pay for all the arrangements, the Queen accepts on the condition that he never performs 'that bloody candle song ever again'.
Israel is found guilty in the International courts of war crimes over the killing of civilians during the 2008 bombing of Gaza, and the further killing of 9 peace activists on the Mavi Marmara. The UN orders Israel to pay compensation to the 1,5 million people imprisoned in Gaza for the last 5 years, and the EU decide to impose severe sanctions, denying Israel voting rights in the European Song Contest.
May 2011:
The media savvy new Bishop of Bradford, Nick Baines, is installed in Bradford during a 'virtual' service that takes place in cyberspace. In his first sermon/blog, he calls for the Church to embrace new technology, and launches a new social networking site called 'Faithbook'.
In the UK local elections, the Liberal Democrats lose 95% of their seats, whilst the Tories lose control of every council that they had previously held. Labour hold most of their seats, but the country sees massive gains for greens and anti-cuts candidates. The fightback begins!
June 2011:
My sister sets a blog to openly deal with her incontinence problem. Http:/vikileaks.com
In the progressive Independent city state of Bradford, the trial of those charged with wrecking the city centre continues. If found guilty, Maud Marshall, Kris Hopkins and Tony Reeves may have to pay for the unwanted spitpool built in front of City Hall from their own private fortunes.
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